Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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