My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize