How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
