I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
