While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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