why didn't you poke me back
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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