We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
