grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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