Barsexuality is the new black.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
