You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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