Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
