OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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