I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You smell like stripper and shame
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
