Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
