Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
