apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
