i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
