do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
