Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
