i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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