whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
