i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
