I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
