i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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