Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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