So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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