True but thats because hes a fetus.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Randomize
