I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
