I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize