the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We have started to decorate penises.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
