They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
