You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
