I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
