Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
