She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
