I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
