the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
