Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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