Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My vagina is very pro this idea
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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