Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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