Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
