I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
