so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
