in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
