It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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