the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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