I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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