She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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