dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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