If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
