I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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