Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
