Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
