Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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