I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
