i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
whose parrot is this?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
