he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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