At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
