Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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