i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
