How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
