I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
