Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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