after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
