even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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