No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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