Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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