Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
