Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
