So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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