Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We smell like vodka and hangover
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
