Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
